First things first: whatever your sexuality is, you’re fine. Even if you’re not sure yet, that’s totally okay and actually really common. Also, sexuality is fluid. You can be bisexual this year and 100% gay next year. That’s all good. (Incidentally all this applies to gender, too.)
Once you start identifying/thinking you’re not heterosexy, you might start investigating what this whole “not being straight” deal is like. There’s a whole bunch of bullshit out there. I’m sorry.
You don’t have to wear plaid or get a sweet undercut or wear Doc Martens or get a nose piercing or become vegetarian to “prove” your sexuality. In a similar way, people that have a sweet undercut, nose piercing, and Doc Martens might look super gay, but you shouldn’t really assume that until they give you their phone number with a wink (or until you give them your phone number in lipstick on a serviette and they blush a lot. Not that I’ve ever…).
Sure, some not-straight people do all those things. This is usually because they think Doc Martens are mad comfortable, not because of their sexuality. When you start identifying as queer, you don’t get a pack including all the plaid you will ever need and a rainbow flag (unfortunately). You’re exactly the same person, you’re just using different words to define yourself.
By passing as straight, you’re not betraying any queer underground. There’s a lot of chat out there about how you totally are, but seriously, if the queer community can’t handle you being true to yourself, they’ve got bigger problems than you not getting the Right Kind of Haircut. ▼