Being Trans and Prideful
When pride is mentioned in relation to LGBT/queer people, it invokes images of gaudy parades with extraordinary characters but this is only the most public part of "gay" pride. To many in the community, pride is a way to stand up to society and say "we're here and we're not going away!"
Unfortunately this has mostly been the domain of gay cis (not trans) men throughout the queer rights movement. Other parts of the queer community have fell by the wayside in the march for marriage equality and the increasingly corporatised and sanitised pride parades are leaving many in the dust.
Historically trans people, especially trans women of colour, were part of the modern queer rights movement from its genesis at the Stonewall Riots in 1969. Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P Johnson being two particularly notable figures. Unfortunately trans people, as a minority in a minority, were abandoned by the growing rights movement and pushed out of the public eye.
Pride for me personally as a trans woman is thus a complicated beast. For much of my life I have not been proud of who I am. I spent my formative years in a deeply conservative rural New Zealand town where supposedly no one was gay and transgender wasn't something people even thought about. Even after finally coming out when I was 24, I struggled to find pride in my identity. Much of the trans experience is based in fear: fear of mockery, abuse and violence. The statistics and my own experiences back that up in shocking frequency.
I've had people yell slurs at me on the street, I've had people pull me down side alleys and accuse me of "really being a man". I've had service staff deliberately misgender and mock me and their managers too after I complained. I've had doctors do the same. My parents have had to hide my transition from many in the town they live out of fear for me. I've been sexually assaulted in broad daylight.
Despite all that, in many aspects I'm protected by being Pakeha (white, for our international readers), having a good job, and "passing" as a cis woman reasonably well. So in many parts of my life I'm quite open about my identity and experience. Thanks to the work of amazing trans women around the world like Laverne Cox and Janet Mock and local activists in New Zealand, it's becoming easier to be proud of who I am.
In the same way that pride parades played a part in it being "OK to be gay", the increasing positive portrayal of trans women in the media is playing an important part in humanising us. My hope is that in being as open as I am, I can increase the visibility of trans issues in my local community.
I won't be standing on a float any time soon but I'm increasingly proud of what I've made it through and my amazing trans siblings who inspire me every day to continue paving the way for a brighter future while respecting the lessons of the past.▼
