Sorry not sorry

Friday July 10 2015
by Sophie E

As women we say sorry too much.

Someone steps in your way, you say sorry. When we ask for something we say sorry. You gently bump someone crammed up next to you with your elbow when blow drying your hair at the gym, it wouldn’t have hurt but yet we say sorry. When we tell guys who don’t treat us well that they are dicks and that you are over wasting your time with them we then apologise afterwards. Sorry for having standards, sorry for wanting to speak up, sorry for the way I look.


I was watching a sketch by Amy Schumer that highlighted this very issue. Ever since, the word sorry when used unnecessarily has been grinding my gears.

Sorry for doing better than you, sorry for getting what I want. Sorry for standing up for myself, sorry for hurting your asshole feelings, sorry for eating the last biscuit. Sorry for you bumping into me, sorry for giving you honest feedback. The list goes on.

When we say sorry do we mean it? I am not sorry for doing better than you. I am waiting for the moment you leave the room so I can do a full on victory dance. I am not sorry that you felt the need to get in my way, you should watch where you’re going. I am definitely not sorry that I am finally standing up for myself and getting what I want.

At what point did we decide that we were automatically in the wrong for everything? To be fair women have been blamed for all manner of things from locusts, witchcraft and even their own sexual assault, so it is no surprise its our protective default.

When I see how few women there are in head honcho positions it gets me wondering, maybe we have been conditioned to lack the courage to go out and get what we want? Maybe the Helen Clarks of this world just do not give any of the fucks about what people think. I highly doubt these leading ladies are apologising for other people stepping on their feet.

The other day I had to write my annual review for work. Here I am supposed to boast about all my achievements, improvements and conquests (ok maybe not all my conquests haha). I find tooting my own horn really hard so writing two thousand words about why I don’t suck was awkward for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am bloody good at writing endless spiels of my greatness when I am forced to but I just found it super awks and embarrassing. If someone complements me I’ll blush and degrade their complement by pointing out the faults. Once again the glorious Amy Schumer points out this glitch in our psyche too. Why is this? Why do we feel the need to degrade ourselves when someone gives praise?

Here in New Zealand we suffer a severe case of tall poppy syndrome. The idea of someone else doing better pisses us off. Rather than celebrating each other’s achievements we scorn them and start using these individuals as scapegoats. So. Much. Frustration.

I am trained to apologise for other people’s mistakes and I have been conditioned to keep my achievements on the down low. This sounds like all the right ingredients for a kick ass CEO… not.

So from now on I am awesome (well of course) and I’m not sorry for it.

I am currently repping the soup buzz at the moment. I am also digging the bright pink of beetroot. Maybe secretly I like living life on the edge and the constant risk of ruining my white clothing gives me a rush?

The beetroot gives this soup a rich earthy flavour and the kumara sweetens it right up and enhances the beety flavour. I sprinkle over feta to add a salty and a creamy aspect. It is quite delicious as well as being a tablecloth's worst nightmare. I feel like a sprinkling of blue cheese would also work a treat.


Roast Beetroot and Sweet Kumara Soup

Serves 4

2 large beetroot, peeled and diced into small cubes

1 small beetroot, peeled and sliced into small wedges

2 medium to large sized kumara or sweet potato (I used red kumara), chopped into cubes

A few glugs of olive oil

1 onion, diced

4 cloves garlic

1/2 teaspoon dried or fresh thyme leaves

4 cups vegetable or chicken stock

100g feta, crumbled

1/4 cup sunflower seeds, toasted

1/4 cup pumpkin seeds, toasted

Fresh thyme to garnish

Couple of tablespoons of plain yoghurt to garnish

Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees. Tip the cubes of beetroot and kumara onto a baking tray lined with baking paper. Drizzle with a few sloshes of oil and toss to coat. Cover with a good grinding of salt and pepper. Bake in the oven for 50 minutes until the vegetables are tender.

Just before the vegetables come out of the oven, in a large saucepan saute the onions in a little more olive oil until softened. Add the garlic and the thyme and continue to cook until translucent. Transfer in the beetroot and the kumara and pour over the stock. Bring to the boil then reduce to a simmer and leave covered on the stove for twenty minutes. Transfer the soup to a good sturdy blender or use your stick blender to blend until smooth. Return to the saucepan, add a little more hot water if the soup is too thick for your liking. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Toast the seeds gently in a frying pan over a medium heat until lightly golden and crisp in texture.

Serve up into bowls, swirl over some plain yoghurt, sprinkle over a generous amount of feta, garnish with a few wedges of the small roasted beetroot and a good handful of toasted seeds then finally finish off with a sprig of thyme. Enjoy.▼

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