How to: Write Essays, Kick Ass

Let's face it: you're going to have to do this at some point. Here's what I've learned along the way.

Part 1: Structure

What I'm going to talk about here applies to most writing-based subjects at school, so things like history, geography, media, basically any time you need to argue something. They're also going to work for biology, where you generally need to explain things. These tips also apply to languages. Your ideas will be simpler in another language, but a sound structure is going to help you convey these ideas. For English essays you can also feel free to be a bit more creative, but if you're struggling these guidelines will help.

Some basics first. You're probably sick to death of hearing the hamburger metaphor, but to refresh your memory here goes. You can think of essay as a hamburger; the introduction and conclusion are your buns and the paragraphs between are your toppings. This metaphor is helpful in explaining that your introduction and conclusion hold your essay together by explaining what the reader can expect to see in your essay (introduction) and summing up your arguments (conclusion). The metaphor also tells you that your introduction and conclusion should be similar, in that they both repeat the ideas that the body of your essay contains. The toppings in the burger metaphor (e.g. pattie, cheese, tomato) represent the ideas that you will present in your essay. So if you think back to the burger, you see that each topping gets its own layer; the pattie, cheese and tomato aren't all mixed up but separate. Likewise in an essay, each idea or argument is going to get its own paragraph.

So what actually goes in your introduction? You can vary the format a bit, but a good introduction should contain two things. First, you need to state what the topic or argument of your essay is. You can give a little background info if you want, but keep it short. Don't get distracted! The second thing you should include is something about the structure of your essay, so your reader knows what to expect. This is going to set them up to understand your ideas really well. For example you might say that your essay will cover three arguments X, Y & Z for why something is true. Or you could say that you will be exploring two sides of an issue, and will come to a conclusion in the conclusion. Either way, you need to give your reader some idea of what to expect.

So what goes in each of your body paragraphs? We've said each paragraph is going to contain one idea, so I want to talk about how this is going to look. Each body paragraph is going to start with a topic sentence. This is way less scary than it sounds. All it is is a simple sentence that states the idea you will explore in the paragraph. Simpler is always better with topic sentences. You want it to be immediately clear what the topic of the paragraph is. Your next few sentences are going to elaborate on your topic sentence. There might be a word that needs explaining or a concept you want to elaborate on. You might explain why what you said in your topic sentence is important. You might just need a few more sentences to help your reader understand your topic sentence. Make sure you don't stray to another topic though! Often a body paragraph will end with an example relating to your topic. Examples can help your reader to understand a concept or argument better.

Your conclusion is going to do much the same as your introduction. It's going to state what your main idea is. You also need to remind your reader what your arguments were, by restating the topic sentences from each of paragraphs. If you're feeling ambitious you can also tell the reader why they should care about what you've argued; you can tell them how your topic affects the world.

Part 2: Finding your argument and planning your essay

The hard part, you guys.

There are two strategies I like to remind people of when they're struggling to write. The first is to plan what you want to write, and the second is to NOT plan what you're going to write. Hear me out.

Mind Mapping. If you have some idea of what you want to write about, but not a whole lot, a mind map will help. If you've got a pretty good idea of your argument, you can move straight on to your essay plan. The goal of your mind map is to see what you know about a topic and to help you find your argument.

There are no rules for mind-mapping, but here's what I like to do. Grab a big piece of paper. Stick two A4's together if you have to. First I put the topic in the middle of the page. I then put any ideas I have about the topic it in the centre. I then put any facts that back up my ideas around those ideas. Make sense? It's ok to have conflicting ideas in your mind map. That's the whole point! You're figuring out what you could argue best. When you've finished your mind-map, take a few minutes to look at your ideas. You have some! It's going to be ok! You can do it! Once you're doing with your self-congratulation (which is seriously a very important part), you're going think about how the ideas you've put down relate to each other. Use arrows. Get messy. Figure out which side of your topic you feel most comfortable arguing. When you've got that sussed, it's time to move on to an essay plan.

Essay Plan. An essay plan lays out the bones of your essay. It can be really simple. If you've done a brainstorm, all you need to do is put down your argument, and what the topic of each of your body paragraphs will be about. If you didn't do a mind-map you might want to jot down a few details and examples under your body paragraph topics. Congratulations! You're ready to start writing!

Free Writing. The other way. This is the no-planning way I talked about earlier. How it works is you sit in front of your computer (or paper) and write everything that comes to mind about your topic. You don't worry about essay structure or grammar or spelling; you just write. You'll find that your ideas sort themselves out as you write. When you free-write, it's important to remember that this is NOT the final version of your essay. I use this technique when I'm having a really tough time sorting out what my argument is going to be. It's also helpful if you have trouble getting started, because there's no pressure.

You can write whatever crap you want; it's not your final essay. When you finish free writing, you'll have a much better idea of what you argument should be. You'll then make an essay plan, and then write your essay.

Part 3: Some tips for actually getting shit done

Now that you know HOW to go about writing that essay, I'm gonna give you some tips for actually getting it done.

1) Location

Find the place where you are most productive. Some people find that they need absolute quiet to focus on writing, others like to drown out distractions with music, and others like background noise. If you need absolute quiet, your bedroom's gonna be your best bet. Anywhere else, you're just going to get frustrated. If you like listening to music, you should be all right pretty much anywhere. If you like a bit of noise, try a library, cafe, or your living room. Experiment and find which works best for you. Everyone's different.

2) Distractions

One word, you guys. Internet. With most people writing essays on their computers these days, it can be pretty hard to avoid the lure of the internet. A few things to try:

• First, you can disconnect from the wifi. While you can always reconnect, having to do so will help you catch yourself out, since turning on facebook is more habit than anything else
• You can get install programs(?) in your browser that will only allow you a certain amount of internet time per hour. They can also let you block certain sites.
• Use internet time as a reward, say 5 minutes for every 20 of writing.

Most other distractions can be avoided using those location tips above. If you find something in a certain location is constantly distracting you, that's a clue you need a different location.

3) A reward system

If you're having trouble sitting down and getting work done, building in some kind of reward will help.

• Use a timer system. What this means writing and doing nothing else for 15-20 minutes, then having a 5-10 minute break. Writing is going to seem less daunting if you know you're only going to do it for a short period of time. Use a timer so you don't get distracted watching the clock.
• You can also measure your output in the number of words you've written. 300 words and you get a break or something like that. You will find that some parts of your essay are going to be harder to write than others though, so I prefer to measure time, personally.
• To help you finish your essay, you could arrange to meet up with friends when you're done. But you don't get to go until you're finished.
• And of course, you need a big reward when you finish your essay. Take the rest of the day off. You deserve it.

4) Also

• Start your essay well ahead of when it's due. Some people write fantastic essays is one go under pressure, but most don't.
• Proofread! I can't stress how important this is! You've got great ideas, but if you haven't used punctuation and correct spelling, your reader will get distracted and miss them.
• Have a friend or family member read your essay before you hand it in. It's easier to miss your own mistakes than someone else's.

Just for fun, I'm going to tell you about my ideal writing conditions. Here we go. For one thing, I start things early, as I am not the kind of person that writes good essays the night before they're due. I find that I work best away from home. At home I always feel like I need to tidy something, which is distracting. It's also too easy to go get snacks, another distraction. I like to have background noise so a school library is a pretty good option. If I'm finding it really hard to write though, I'll go to a cafe with no wifi. The background noise helps. I do a bit of people watching, but that doesn't suck me in as much as the internet, so I'm fine with that. I always have a big cup of tea beside me, but food or candy is too distracting.

Off you go! Go and find your ideal writing conditions.

I hope these writing tips have helped!